I remember when my girlfriend in a previous relationship wanted to travel to Costa Rica for 2 months without me.
At the time I wasn’t much of a traveler myself. And if I knew the things I know today, I probably wouldn’t have been concerned, or done the mistakes I did back then.
I guess you’re here because you’re challenged by the fact that your girlfriend also wants to travel without you. Whether you’re worried, have a hard time understanding it, or something else.
Chances are that this article based on my experience and others will lead you to deal with everything in the best way possible.
So let’s give you some peace of mind!
📖 Table of Contents
1. Chances Are It’s Nothing Personal
If you can’t point out any obvious reasons she doesn’t want to travel together, there’s a big chance it has nothing to do with you or your relationship.
A good example is if she just wants to travel solo. Which is a unique experience I believe most people should try at least once.
It can effectively lead to personal growth when you practice independence by only relying on yourself in a foreign place. Or give space to reflect, self-discovery and recharge. There’s a reason why some people voluntarily isolate themself on silent retreats.
Another example is if she wants to travel with friends or family to simply have some intimate time with them.
Most of us have relationships where we want to make space for this.
And yet another example is if the way you travel is so different that it would result in too many comprises.
There’s no shame in traveling separately to not limit each other. It would likely be unhealthy for your relationship not to do so.
📌 TIP: In case you find it hard to understand why she wants to travel in general, consider reading my chapter on why traveling is one of the best investments in this other guide of mine.
2. See It as an Opportunity Rather Than a Threat
Though the idea of your girlfriend traveling without you initially challenges you, there’s also a lot to gain from it for you both.
Besides you get to be happy on her behalf, it’s also a chance for you to demonstrate that you support her.
This is important because without giving space for each other’s individuality, you’re limiting the positive synergy effect that should be present in a healthy relationship.
But also think of how it can directly benefit you. In case you’re not already busy, it can be a unique option to make some plans for yourself too.
For example, by leaping into a project you’ve always wanted to do. Invite some friends over to stay for a while. Or go on a trip of your own.
📌 TIP: No matter what I highly suggest you keep yourself busy while she's away. And if you're in doubt about what to do, consider looking at your recent YouTube history for inspiration. It can be a goldmine for overlooked passions and interests.
3. Why It’s Important To Give Her Space While She Travels
If you don’t give her space to enjoy her travel to its fullest, it could result in arguments and end up having a negative effect on your relationship.
Also, remember your perception of time will likely be different. She’ll be busy enjoying her trip, which makes time run fast. And if you stay at home, it will likely feel like time is running more slowly.
Especially if we take into consideration the temporary gap she might leave by not being there as usual.
But don’t forget your own needs, so consider agreeing on how to stay in touch.
For example, by agreeing that she at least sends a message before going to bed. No matter the length. Just so you know she’s okay.
It also depends on the duration of the trip though. If it’s a long one, it’s understandable if you might get the need for some calls too.
The key is to make things clear from the beginning. This decreases the risks of friction, potential misunderstandings, and arguments.
Which is the last thing you want while you’re far away from each other and can’t talk face-to-face.
4. Why You Only Have Something to Gain
Remember that there’s nothing to lose for any of you.
If she gets time to pursue her travel dreams on her own, chances are it will just improve your relationship in the long run.
And now time for some hard talk. I don’t know your relationship, so take what I’m about to share with a grain of salt. And remember, that this is the absolute worse case.
If you have a genuine fear that she’s insecure about your relationship and she needs time on her own, don’t suggest trying to persuade her from traveling.
Because by trying to control or suppress her need for traveling, you’re likely to make things worse or postpone the problems to the future.
Chances are that this is irrelevant, so I wouldn’t be worried except if you already have enough reasons to suspect this.
5. Plan Another Trip Together in the Future
Not traveling together now, doesn’t mean you can’t do it in the future.
If you plan another trip together you’ll have something to look forward to, which can make it much easier to cope with the situation for both of you.
Because it will likely move some of your focus from when you’re not traveling together to when you do. Which can give you both more peace of mind.
But if you decide to do so, I suggest making some concrete plans and putting them in your calendars. And most preferably book everything too.
This will increase your chances of committing to it, and thereby give you more assurance.
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